Currently Reading: He’s Just Not That into You

Dear Greg,

There’s this guy I met a couple of weeks back, and he seems really funny and cool and so interested in me. I honestly thought we were on the same page. In fact, we’ve “gone out” a couple of times (mainly to a fast-food place, because it’s the only thing open at 4 a.m.), and the conversations through SMS and chat (despite the fact that he’s just an arm’s throw away) have been warm, romantic, and intimate, I must say.

But the last two weeks, I’ve been getting a 404, which I initially dismissed as just a grumpy middle-age guy having those moments because of a recent operation.I mean, really, Greg, when you’re in so much pain, how can you think about romance? He tells me he’s just in so much pain, so he can’t text me back or go out for a walk, which I believed for some time.

And then a good friend at work thought she had to intervene because I was starting to fall, and she gave me your book, He’s Just Not That into You. I heard about this book years ago but never bought a copy because I didn’t want a complete stranger giving me advice about a guy I know very well. Hello? I get all that from my friends. Why would I want to know what you think?

I read the book in just one day. It was funny and wicked and enlightening, and you really had me there, Greg. You’re right. He just wants something else. He’s not a bit interested in the book I’m writing. He doesn’t seem to want to get to know me more. I really thought we connected, but then, it was just as well. I was starting to get distracted, and I can’t afford that. Not when I’m writing a book.

So thanks, Greg. You were a lot of help. But I’m still looking for a way to prove you wrong. He can’t be not that into me!

The Single Writer and Her Book

I’ve come to realize that I cannot write and be in a romantic relationship at the same time.  The energies that I use for writing are about as intense as those I exert when I am madly, passionately in love with someone.

I never believed it, and I’ve been in denial for the majority of my adult writing life, but it’s true. When I look back at the years before, I was either happily writing singly or happily involved but on a dry writing spell (but productive elsewhere). I can’t seem to handle both–me whom I consider to have superior multitasking skills.

I mean, really, should you even ask what one should choose between spending a night of romance or staying up all night writing a chapter? Never mind being broke. I’d choose the former. Which is why I’m usually in love and broke or single but earning well. You know what they say: You can’t have everything.

So maybe I should thank my stars that this recent affair has ended and I can happily go back to writing after exorcising the demons of a recent past. Four months more to go, and five chapters to complete. I can do it! (Yes! That’s the spirit!)

Notes on Writing a Book

Writing isn’t a fun process. It is laborious. It feels like giving birth (and I know the feeling). The thought of writing may seem like a piece of cake, but the act isn’t. And the idea of a looming deadline doesn’t make it any easier.

So here’s the plan to get things done in the next five months:

1. Send the child to the grandparents for the summer. Thankfully, it was my little boy’s last day in first grade today, and he is so excited about vacation that I am just so happy to ship him south in a balikbayan box. Not that I want to get rid of him, but I simply cannot write and play mommy at the same time.

2. Take it one chapter at a time. My writing/editing “associate” is doing the work for one chapter, while I will do the final rewrite and edit. That should lessen the burden on me.

3. Prepare the tools of the trade. Last Sunday, I finally picked up the recorder and noted how it has morphed into something else in the last three months that I did not touch it. My sister was able to break open the battery holder, and despite fear of a leaking battery, she was able to dislodge the AA battery that was stuck inside and growing moss (no, really).

4. Send off questions and wait. No, really, because I am in Manila and can only do so much, while my resource people are in various parts of the world.

5. Have faith. Because writing is an act of faith. You got to believe you’ll get done. Or you won’t get paid. So help me God.

The Busy Freelancer

The busy freelancer never gets to blog.

Which explains why I have been silent for a month. I’m happy to say that my freelance career hasn’t been idle the last month. On the contrary, it’s been sizzling!

Just this month, my design partner finally completed the illustrations for a financial management book that we translated into comics. My part of the work had long been done as early as mid-January, but it was the illustrations that took ages–and for good reason too. D would never submit anything half-baked. The lesson? We’re now more realistic about setting deadlines after realizing you can’t finish a comic book in two weeks.

I’m pretty excited about this comic book thing, precisely because it is my first time to be “writing” a comic book. (You won’t see us in the credits, and we signed a contract saying we can’t include the gig in our portfolio.) I was understandably anxious in the beginning and scoured the bookstores for teenage comic books to familiarize myself with the nuances and the tone of comic book writing (I’m used to writing business stories). The Australian-based client was quite happy, thankfully, and appreciated the fact that I was still around to do the proofreading a month after completing the project.

And then there’s the coffee table book, the work for which started this month. February is ending, and I find my pace a bit slow, as there were management issues to address, such as finding a cover designer and surveying a list of local publishers for rates. We still don’t know whether we’re going local or international (Lulu or Blurb comes to mind), but maybe that is something I should not worry about. Getting the book finished first should be priority #1.

Which also means that the next five months will see me uber busy. The research for this book means I will be going out of town, something I haven’t prepared for yet, but I hope to go to Dipolog (Zamboanga del Norte) for it, sometime before Easter.

This is a new thing, seeing a book from nothing to something, and it’s something I’m really excited about. Already, I’ve negotiated with my boss at work (my full-time job) for a flexible schedule (nothing later than 9 a.m. PST), and I just got approval to work at home on Wednesdays! Oh glory! Now that is what you call “work from home.”

I’m still apprehensive about this “work from home” thing, as I know every person who does it for the first time is, but it will probably curb my control problem, so I can learn to trust others to bring their fair share to the table even though I am not around. Of course, this new “work from home” bit says something about how my boss trusts me enough to allow me to work outside the HQ, and I certainly don’t want anyone thinking I’m slacking off when nobody’s watching.

So there. It’s been exciting, and I’m breathless while I look forward to the next six months (oh, there’s another book project coming up–something, uh, fishy!) of lucrative, productive freelancing.

How about you? Any good thing happened to you?

P.S. Did I mention I was actually in the hospital for five days this February? Not stress-related, thank you (although I would have believed so), but something related to a previous appendectomy. The time away helped me a lot. I realize now how I miss (1) not doing anything, (2) getting 8 hours of sleep, and (3) sleeping at night.

Are You Where You Want to Be?

Two people asked me this question today: my sister and an old friend–also a writer–when we were talking about colleagues from workplaces past.

While the conversation with a friend brought back some painful memories in my career, I realized that I like where I am now. I have a great job that pays well (it could pay more–hint, hint, boss) and teaches me so many new things. Now, I do more than writing–I also do e-mail marketing. It’s exciting and it keeps me on my feet.

On top of that, I have an equally exciting site on arts and culture–it gives me this happy feeling of being alive. And the projects haven’t stopped coming! (Thank God!) Right now, I’m writing a comic strip for a financial management book. I’m learning so much, not just with the nuances of writing for comics but also about managing my finances well.

We have different ideas of where we want to be, but in the course of life, our routes change and steer to another direction. I don’t think I am where I wanted to be (I wanted to be a novelist and a reporter for Time magazine when I was younger), but I am loving where I am now. And I think that matters a lot.

Are you happy where you are now, career wise?

Writing resolutions

I’ve been writing for close to 10 years, but I’ve never started writing an article with the idea that I could breeze through it in an hour. Starting is almost always the hardest thing to do when you’re writing, so sometimes when I’m stuck without a lead, I move on to the middle part simply because I refuse to stare at my monitor for hours thinking of a good intro. When I upload an article online or send it off to a managing editor, there’s always this idea at the back of my mind that I could have done better.

I should cut myself some slack, I know. Writing, like any other type of work, doesn’t come easily. (Well, sometimes the best leads come to you in the middle of the night, so you have to listen to those voices in your head–hopefully not the sort urging you to kill someone.)

William Zinsser, writer and teacher, in his book On Writing Well gives this advice on fighting off those fears of disapproval and failure:  “Write about subjects that interest you and that you care about.”

That’s why I make it a point to write about writers and artists and works that I believe in so the writing doesn’t feel so difficult. Of course, it isn’t always the case, and if you’re a professional writer, you’ll have to come up with articles on things that you have had no previous interest in, say promotional products, Christmas lights in mainland China, or a designer whose philosophy I don’t understand.

But to add to Zinsser’s idea, if you have to write about something that doesn’t interest you, approach it with a mindset of “What do I take away from this?” or “How will this change my life?”  or even “How will this help other people?” You never know what you’ll learn.

This year, I’ve made it a resolution to face this fear of writing and tackle new topics. What’s your writing resolution?

5 Freelance Lessons I Learned in 2008

Tomorrow’s the last day of 2008, and as I walked home today, I thought of the many things that happened to my career and my freelance work this year and the lessons they brought. I hope you learn something from this:

1. Learn how to say no. I’m the kind of person who finds it hard to say no, so sometimes I get shortchanged. I get relegated to the back seat. Saying no doesn’t come easily to anyone, and it’s something every freelance worker should learn. Say no when you’re being pushed to the wall. Say no when you’re shortchanged. It might be difficult at first, and you’ll probably lose sleep over it, but it’ll be good for your freelance career.

2. Work with the best people. If you’re new to freelancing, it helps to “ally” yourself, so to speak, with people who have built a good reputation in the industry. I’ve tried Elance and Guru alone in the past and found it difficult to build up my portfolio, but I was lucky to be taken in by a good friend, a freelance illustrator and designer, who has a good reputation on Elance. His experience helped us secure our first project. We’re now working on a comic book project together, with him doing the illustration and I writing the text. Freelance work can be scary at first, especially when you’re alone, so it helps to be with a solid team that will back you up.

3. Never shortchange yourself. I’ve mentioned that I often add a free service to first-time clients, and I still believe it’s a good practice. But when it comes to proposals, it’s always right to quote clients a price that you’re comfortable with. It might not be the cheapest, but prove that you’re worth every dollar.

4. Deliver the best quality on time. You want to be known as someone who gets the job done, fast, so be consistent. This will help you build a good reputation and is always good for your freelance career in the long run. On the subject of delivering on time, it’s always best to manage expectations, so if you think a deadline isn’t realistic, speak up.

5. Pay it forward. I never refuse a project if I can still accommodate it, but if I can’t, I make sure that a fellow writer/freelancer gets it. I believe there’s a lot of work for everyone, and if you’ve built a good reputation, I am sure freelance work will come in steadily. On that note, I also believe that by passing it on to someone who might also need the job more than you do, you not only strengthen a friendship but feel positive that you’ve done a good turn to someone, and that’s always good for the soul, isn’t it?

What are your freelance/career lessons for 2008?

Giving a Little Extra Can Help Your Freelance Work

We network. We ask around. We send out impressive portfolios. But if a potential client were to choose between two freelance writers who both wrote well, delivered on time, and charged the same rate, but the other one offered a free extra service on the side, which one would he most probably choose?

I would say he’d choose the one that offered the extra service. Like everyone else who likes something free thrown in, clients like a little extra on the side.

I always make it a point to give a free service, especially to first-time clients, because it’s a way of building what could be a long-term relationship with them. If I were a client and I was happy with an initial project with a writer/editor, why would I look for anyone else?

When I’m doing book editing work for an author, I throw in a free encoding service, because some authors do write by hand and they send in manuscripts in notebooks, sometimes several of them. I simply adjust my editing rate a bit to cover part of what would cost the encoding (so when you think about it, it really isn’t 100 percent free). Sometimes when I’m feeling generous, I give the service free. Either way, it helps me as a writer because while encoding, I read the manuscript and get an idea of its overall plot.

How about you? Do you offer extra services to clients and how has this practice helped grow your freelance work?

Telling it like it is

Unlike other people, I haven’t been blogging because there’s nothing to write about. In fact, there are a million things to write about! I have a long list of articles I want to write here and here, but you know what they say: The body is willing but the flesh is weak.

One of the many things I have had to deal with lately is how to communicate my creative expectations with designers. In previous lifetimes, I have had the good fortune to work with kick-ass designers who know exactly what I had in mind (they were adept mind readers, thankfully, and always thought ahead of me). I don’t expect to know more than a designer in terms of colors, blending, typography, and usability, but I’d like to think I have a trusty head on my shoulder that knows good design from a bad layout that’s put together at the last minute and sent to me shamelessly, expecting me to say “Let’s go ahead with it” when it is just plain ugly.

What was worse than shamelessly sending me a draft of a holiday card with colors so blinding and a typography that was more unimaginative than playful? Taking my comments personally.

Maybe it’s my fault that in the past I had let things go, given them a day or two extra to improve (yet never doing so), and sugarcoating my comments because I was afraid of hurting their feelings. But finally (and I’d like to think of it as good), I decided I just had to tell them. The colors are painful to the eyes. Can you find a more reader-friendly font? Is there a way to tweak the logos so their colors blend with the layout?

And then I am accused of being not nice  simply because I said the truth?

I remember back when I was 21, fresh out of college, and I was working as PR associate for Joan Orendain, who never sent out a press release without its going through at least five drafts. Nothing was ever sent out that was less than perfect. I remember how I just wanted to cry because there were times when (I thought) her comments were too harsh, because I thought my work was already perfect but she didn’t agree.

We thought of it as military school, but today I look back with gratitude because I knew I wouldn’t be such a meticulous and detail-oriented editor who wanted everything to be (at least almost) perfect. If you had only your life’s work to show for, wouldn’t you want it to be almost perfect as well?

This whole episode reminds me of “The Emperor’s New Clothes” in which nobody, except a child, had the gumption to point out that the king wasn’t wearing anything. Everybody just went with what the majority had say because no one wanted to speak his mind and look stupid.

I wish this designer had heard me at my uncensored worse. It would have been more fun.

Getting Rid of a Bad Client, Finally

Last month, I finally put my foot down and ended my contract with an Australia-based Pakistani client whose sites I had been writing content for since February this year.

He had all the signs of a potential bad client–except I refused to read them:

1. He always paid late. Late payments are a big issue for me, especially as I am not the sort who feels comfortable sending billing statements and reminders to clients to process payments me. Being late once or twice is forgivable, but being late every month, or worse, putting payments off the next month just because the accountant comes over only once a month is unforgivable. We have bills to pay and families to feed! Any freelance worker who turns in quality work on the expected date should never have to go through the embarrassment of having to follow up with a client. It’s money that’s yours. Why should you beg for it?

2. He always asked for more than what was agreed on. I’m usually generous to first-time clients and throw in a free service,  but it’s too much when a client asks you to do an interview when all you have initially agreed on is simply rewriting. I remember when this client asked me to do a Q&A that I quoted him a special price because it would involve some research. His reaction? “That is not going to happen.”

3. He does not give clear instructions, yet expects you to  get things right the first time. This is my favorite part. For months, this client and I have been on a guessing game, with me always trying to second-guess what it is he wants. As a rule, I always send out follow-up questions to clarify his instructions, but he doesn’t reply or replies late, if at all. Four out of six times, I got his instructions right.

4. He doesn’t trust the people he works with.This applies especially for home-based full-time work. It takes a huge amount of trust to believe that your employees who are in a different country and are two hours ahead of your time are working at the hours they should be.

For some time I thought this over, playing around with the figures in the mind. The last thing I wanted to do was to upset my budget. Of course, that was some money that could go to my savings account, but I realized that I would rather sacrifice money than to be stressed by a bad client.

Highly recommended reading: Joel Falconer’s post, “How to Spot a Dud Client and Get Out While You Can”