The Single Writer and Her Book

I’ve come to realize that I cannot write and be in a romantic relationship at the same time.  The energies that I use for writing are about as intense as those I exert when I am madly, passionately in love with someone.

I never believed it, and I’ve been in denial for the majority of my adult writing life, but it’s true. When I look back at the years before, I was either happily writing singly or happily involved but on a dry writing spell (but productive elsewhere). I can’t seem to handle both–me whom I consider to have superior multitasking skills.

I mean, really, should you even ask what one should choose between spending a night of romance or staying up all night writing a chapter? Never mind being broke. I’d choose the former. Which is why I’m usually in love and broke or single but earning well. You know what they say: You can’t have everything.

So maybe I should thank my stars that this recent affair has ended and I can happily go back to writing after exorcising the demons of a recent past. Four months more to go, and five chapters to complete. I can do it! (Yes! That’s the spirit!)


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About Karla

I am an e-mail marketer, editor, and writer. My passions are yoga, food, and Filipino arts and culture.

2 responses to “The Single Writer and Her Book”

  1. Angel Buster says :


    This is really sad. You shouldn’t have to make a choice between the two. But I do understand. I have a husband who travels a lot for work and I must admit that when he’s traveling I am much more ‘productive’ with my hobbies. It’s a little bit of the ‘pleaser’ in me who feels that when he is around I should be paying 100% attention to him. Sounds like you are also an all or nothing gal. 50% focus on each seems not good enough for you. Am I right? Good luck this time around! I am certain a new romance is right around the corner though…

  2. Karla says :

    Thanks, Angel. I know how you feel about being productive when you’re alone–I feel the same way. My former partner, a graphic designer himself, couldn’t get anything done when I was puttering about in the house (I feel the same way). I read somewhere that writing (or any creative act) is a solitary process, and I think there’s some truth in it.

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